What I learned from cutting off my hair

Monday, December 1, 2014

It's almost been six months since I accidentally cut all my hair off. In those six months I've learned more about myself, what it means to be feminine, and what others think I need to know about their thoughts on women with short hair.

I cut my hair when I was in high school and I've struggled with it growing since that moment. I spent years regretting this cut, years wishing I had long hair like the girls on the internet. I bought fake hair and I went through the agony of wearing 180 grams of fake hair in the middle of the hottest summer days. I bought a curling iron. I bought a curling wand and I bought hair vitamins. I pretended that if I could learn how to curl my fake hair and rock it on the daily, that I would finally feel completely like a woman. Despite all my wasted dollars (on products and hair), I was still light years away from having hair skill or the ability to consistently wear fake hair. I would spend more time putting in my fake hair than I would being out. It became this entirely unsuccessful game of "is this even worth it?"

Despite all the work, energy, and money I was spending on cultivating a look that I was conditioned to believe was the epitome of femininity -- I still kept trying. I was determined to make it work and look effortless. But at a certain point, I realized that my hair wasn't just going to magically grow. That I was tired of keeping my hair a specific color to match my hair extensions. That I simply didn't want to spend so much time getting ready and worrying about such trivial ideas.

I always thought about cutting my hair dramatically, but the idea of having that much of my face on display and having to worry about my acne prone skin being entirely too visible made me cringe. I thought if I had hair to my ass, clear skin, and got extremely ballsy that I would chop off my hair and be like, "long hair be damned," And everyone would applaud me.

That never happened and I needed a change. I'm the kind of client that lets a hairstylist do whatever they want with my hair and I rarely mind. My stylist took me short and at first, I cried. I mean, not in front of her or anything, but it was a huge shock to me.

Once I got over myself, the almighty pixie cut became something I was obsessed with. I spent years of my life hiding behind my hair. Cutting it all off empowered me because let's be real -- you kind of feel like a bad ass when your hair is short. I feel invigorated and somehow a thousand times more feminine than I ever did with long hair. It was a huge adjustment for me, but it's one that I needed.

Styling short hair is easy. It's low maintenance on a weekly basis (though high maintenance on a monthly basis) and I always feel REALLY good about myself. When I was struggling with my hair I consistently felt badly about my appearance and I am glad to not have to negatively obsess over my looks.

It was one of the best accidents that has happened to me and I only wish I had done it sooner.

© Midwest Muse.